lady with cat + authenticity + autobiography

from flickr


if i told you this was my nan, you'd believe me, right? seems a contemporary colour photograph, roughly the right age to be my nan, very fondly looking at these cats in her lap. my dissertation research into roland barthes in camera lucida looked at how barthes was struggling to 'see' his mother in any of the photos he has of her following her death, even if in fact, visibly the woman in the photograph was her, he couldn't connect the frozen snapshot of time of, for example, the presented facial expression,disposition,context,her as a child- its didn't seem to be really her to him. now taking this further, in how by, for example, verbally narrating, we bring a picture from the past into real time. or even by how putting it in a frame on the mantelpiece gives it a status and thus implied personal connection if on my mantelpiece. i draw connections here to the tratchenberg family slide show players who create narratives of strangers lives depicted through slides, in performing songs about car boot found images (my previous post here.) who are these people? those lost treasured moments of the past 'rekindled' inauthentically momentarily in the present?

i have also been looking through old photos of my blood father who passed away recently. we had a selection of them out at his wake from different points in his life to connect to all those people present from across his life, start conversations, recount memories. many of these photos i'd not seen before. there's two in particular, one of him aged about 6 months in a christening gown i think in 1928,with his older brother and sister, pretty standard british photo of that time so fairly non-descript, could be any baby, but it isn't as i've been told otherwise. i'm finding it hard not to look at it, it represents him at the start of his life. the other photo is of him as an artist in his studio in the 60s taking a photo of himself in a mirror surrounded by his ceramics and paintings.this photograph i would imagine was how barthes felt looking at his mother in an age he also didn't know her, a sense of awe and loss but also a sense of wonderment about that time in their life, a time that may well remain unknown.for me, a sense of the artistic person i wish i had known, or how much does this photo actually represent that as my father would think? all so subjective, the "that-has-been," as camera lucida discusses at great length. photos in light of these circumstances of a life passing for me are proving quite challenging to view- and has made me consider the level of honesty i actually want to share so publicly. so when doug said during the july scratch performance, have out a photograph of me and my nan to set the scene, due to that scene developing in ways away from a direct autobiography with the addition of the granddad section, i'm not sure i want to have my pictorally real nan. however, this begs the question then, am i theatricalising my work or am i merely embellishing it like storytellers do?

i was thinking about spalding grays life as a performance and the ideas surrounding autobiography- how truthful am i being already and am i to continue to be? how much am i inventing and continuing to invent? i have a suitcase of cat related object and image possibilities i am collating and weeding out bit by bit, many based on nanny's own tastes but are some things too hyper real, too inauthentic? is it possible to be making a point about this? if i pulled out a photo album with the lady with cats at the top of this post in, and then talked about her, the natural response would be its her. however, if i pulled the image out of a lady smiling and clearly loving her cats, from a pile of old photos in a rubber band and then framed it and placed it in front of the audience to tell the story would they still think she was my nan? or could it be perceived that i wanted this to be my nan? or that this was how i saw her?
am i making a different but good point about photography here, alongside the others i am employing in erasing the image, not fixing it , temporal obscura image?

i inherited a few lovely items when nanny passed away, a beautiful lamp and old electric heater. nanny had mixed taste and a few choice cat items in amongst her living breathing pussies, including a cat calendar, but also some what i would term very tacky, chintzy ornaments. so the items i am collating seem plausible to the autobiography.

is the cat lady photo or one like it another photographic twist for the MA show? i think i will try a photo in thursday's scratch.

shed-and-a-half gallery ideas and proposal

ok- so this was a mega quick turn around to get a proposal together for the Photomonth 2008 deadline of 30th june, so links lots to previous work rather than a fresh idea from scratch. i was taken by the fact that the site used to be a haberdashery factory and that there are traces of the past- of industry around- hooks, railings, etc. the site also has a lot of traces of current occupation- washing line, roof garden plants, climbing frame, hammock, bbq, tables and chairs- so a social, relaxing, functional space as well as a site of a gallery. the gallery is also in the art/fashion hub of east london, shoreditch.

this all taken on board- here's the proposal;

Proposal

"A two-phase photo-performance which will involve a live photographic exchange exploring the sheds as darkrooms, and traditional and digital photography. Through a context-specific response to the site of a redundant haberdashery factory in Shoreditch, processes will be explored exploiting factory processes and the clothes we no longer wear. People attending the Private view are required to bring any photographs of them wearing clothing they wish they hadn’t worn, and now want to surrender (photos to remain secret until required.) Participants to the one-to one performances are required to bring a soft item of clothing they no longer require, to surrender."

More about the proposed event:

The proposed event, what not to wear? explores the relationship between the redundant and the nostalgic through the dual narrative of past-industrial site of a haberdashery factory and redundant items of clothing we no longer wear. The two sheds of the Shed-and-a-half gallery are also important as both a site of secrecy, and where forgotten or discarded items end up.

This proposal is for a three phase event from 22nd to 26th October 2008:
Firstly, on evening of 22nd October, a collective experience sharing photos of audience members in our forgotten/embarrassing/lost items of clothing, mediated through photographic manipulation of the live projected destruction of the clothing’s image contained in photographs within the sheds. This would be followed by intimate performances for one at a time from 23rd- 26th October in a staged darkroom exploring photograms; it is envisaged that performances will tell the story of an unwanted item of clothing, then deconstruct it, laid out on photopaper and exposed as a photogram trace, all imagery and remnants of clothing to pile up in the half shed as an installation.
The Final event, on 26th October will be a short viewing of the installation relics in the half shed, as a single group that would have met off site collectively (6.30- 7pm max) and then go to a pub nearby for an informal talk about the work, feedback, til around 9pm, or whenever we've had enough.

NB All events strictly by appointment only and participants must agree to bring items required which will be clarified upon booking a place- details of booking procedures to be confirmed.

Background to the idea:
Central to the work is theories in the work of Roland Barthes and Tino Sehgal, the first for his theories of the ‘mortality’ of the paper based photograph as an ‘impossible’ record of ‘now,’ and the latter for the fleeting materiality of his art works. I am currently researching principles of non-matrixed theatre and audience participation through the subversion of time based media practices. I am experimenting with pushing the temporal nature of performance through marrying with the temporal nature of photography, placing the process of image making intrinsically at the heart of an intimate and participatory, performative experience.

NB DATES SUBJECT TO CHANGE/CONFIRMATION

Devising PART ONE of the space-in-between show- factory process+participation

ok- so want to get down here the structure of the idea for PART ONE (deconstructing factory processes- laura is working on developing our agreed structure for PART TWO-tea ) to then start rehearsing/walking through....

we know that my (in)visible exchange project at the nunnery formed the starting point but now responding to site, offering me experimentation with same process but different stories, context, objects, and working with another performer- laura, the project has evolved.

so- from my notes;

location- in the office- red light, table, 3 chairs, darkroom stuff, cardboard boxes

3- 5pm. 15 minute appointments. the office, 55 leroy street.

participants must bring a small item of home furnishings or clothing to us to exchange. they must surrender the item.

the idea being they will be exchanging an old history for a new one, exchanging archived material within the office- a site for people to go when they have a query, want advice, bring something back.

rough walk through;
participant knocks on door, hears 'come in' enters room, sits down.
laura and myself are either already working or begin working when person enters on some undecided ' office job.'
we ask them if they have anything to exchange
we talk to them about an item from our archive box donated by a former factory employee
we ask them if they want the archive object
via tools set, one of us deconstructs/ unpicks/ destroys item (needs deciding how with the participants- options matched to reason for surrendering it?), whilst other makes notes on an archive proforma the participants story they then tell us about the item- why they are giving it up?
OPTION ONE
after story ends- archive an agreed part, agree a photogram part- expose, develop
NON- VERBAL- sit and watch the photogram image changing
when image developed- we mount it into frame and pack it away
give out next appointment card/time to come back for PART TWO, and to see full archive back at 5.30

OPTION TWO
whilst story being told, photogram the item (who does this- us/participant) allowing for pauses and gesturing to keep the focus on the image at times and on us at others, fit to purpose and direction of actions, then mount it into frame and pack it away
give out next appointment card/time to come back for PART TWO

all photogramed frames from the room are piling up in the boxes. at the end of the 2 hours, these boxes and the tea items boxes are brought into the tea area for PART TWO.

considerations;

1. are we only photograming the participants broken item OR we could photogram them both on the same paper?
2. make sure its not an illustration of barthes
3. make sure that its not overly spelled out that we are exchanging, sharing an experience, fleeting materiality- save for the participant to still have to work?
4. ensure correct balance between verbal and non-verbal communication
5. equality??
6. the nature of the former factory employee's stories- would be great to make them funny (hyper self?) and explore some of my new stand up ideas :) this would be a marked contrast to the death of the photogram in front of your eyes- nice contrast?
7. this office needs careful consideration as walls are in poor state- Health and safety-ask linda
8. maneuverability around space with 3 people in there
9. temporality v art object- this was a huge area for discussion in (in)visible exchange- people will be given the option to take their exchanged item home- implying the history of the space has evolved by object left behind and the space-in-between history becomes part of some elses' history
10. from our reversed factory processes, we are making a new product- our framed photogram, ready for the PART TWO and a comment on creating a piece of artwork as though to be hung on the wall of the new contemporary appartments- the site moving forward into the future from the past
    

provisional resources for PART ONE;
blackout material for the office- door doesn't close- gaffer, binbags/curtain,draft excluder?
lots of extension cables
black box
office lamp (or use overhead light?)
office table and 3 chairs (or 4?)
darkroom chemicals- get new?
safety lights
cylinders
forensic bags
carbon paper
proformas
stapler, staples
tools
cardboard boxes - how many?
frames x 10 (ikea?)
ready made reject pile of textiles
archive items pre-made
archive box

what are laura and i wearing? factory outfit- tabard?? or normal or jeans, tshirt type clothing?

to discuss all with laura tomorrow

Photos of Nunnery show-PART TWO

Photos of Nunnery show-PART ONE

working closet- notebook, radio 3 on in the background (also helped separate you from the outside world)...

(in)visible exchange relic 1

thank you to one of the two participants who asked me to take the images home myself......now residing on page 93, roland barthes, camera lucida, " [the image] flourishes a moment, then ages....attacked by light, by humidity, it fades, weakens, vanishes...the natural witness of what has been...."

Setting up the Nunnery show

love the real working closet- just clearing a little to make way for the performance...